An Attempt To Transfer!!As I care for my son, I am noticing differences and subtle changes within me. Even though I am not diagnosed with the same illness, My body somehow begins to respond as if I do. What seems to be going on with the patient in bed, ebbs it’s way over to the person bed side.
While the caregiver is depositing love and encouragement to the patient, his body is attempting to make a withdrawal of sickness and suffering from the patient. I notice that when he frowns, I feel it in my face. When he gets sick, I am nauseated. Every needle that sticks him and every pill he swallows, I feel and taste. Because he is limited in mobility, I find myself not wanting to be as active. When he is not hungry, my body has no desire to eat. His slow, methodical moves and calculated steps become mine. My body seems to be responding to his ailments as if they were my own.
Is it my love for my son that plays a part in my body’s desire to take on some of what he experiencing? Is it my body’s attempt to relieve my son of his turmoil by transferring his pain? As his physical strength declines, he needs more assistance. The closer we work together, the more I have to touch his hair, feet, arms, hands, and back. The more I feel him, the more I become one with him in his walk. There are times when I step away physically but I never really leave. With so many daily changes and unpredictable twist in his illness, my desire has always been to be both PRESENT AND TRUSTWORTHY.
I knew of a few older married couples that had been together for years. They had grown to become one. When one left this world, it wasn’t very long before the other left as well. The gravitational pull of love seems to pull one in the same direction as the other. As I take a look up the road of life, It might do me some good to begin lovingly drawing some light lines of demarcation in the sands of time, lest Iove offer me an exit that seems much too tempting in that moment of time.