Good Morning!! At the table with me is a lady with a bikini and a sleeping bag. Eating two muffins and a hot chocolate she seems challenged but who am I to argue. She needs a ride but it’s wild out here and I’m not in the mood for rodeos. Am I a magnet for this stuff? She asked if I cared if she sat at my table. She said she wished she could own a dolphin and she liked bike tires. What? I take a large gulp of hot coffee. Here we go!! Sophia is her name. When she stands up I notice she has no clothes on just handkerchiefs and rubber bands. There is also a collection of toothpicks and plastic straws in her waist band. I ain’t trippin!! I too have considered the ensemble!!! In spite of the wardrobe flub, Sophia has a great smile, great teeth, an amazing tan with a manicure and pedicure to boot. She has almost one hundred dollars combined in bills, a lighter and some coins that she sets in a small pile in the corner of the table. People passing by her have offered cash to get her some clothes.

Wrapped in a sleeping bag, she talks freely with Ole Wil. Where the hell is this going you say? I promise I’m asking the same thing. She wants a ride to Oceanside and for some reason she wants to use my phone. I cannot accommodate either. We keep chatting. I’m trying to find common ground here especially after the owing a dolphin comment. After much thought, “What’s so wrong with owning a dolphin?”

She says, “I want to get my hair done.” Colored and curled she desires. “I wish I could find a rich man to get my hair done today,” she pouts. Any life goals? Singer, dancer, sports model!!! Nice I say!!! Out of nowhere she hits me with it. “Just to keep the conversation down to a minimum, I just need to get my hair done.” Am I talking too much and asking too many questions? She says yeah dude!!!

At my table, with rubber bands and handkerchiefs on, and a $10.57 bill that I will cover, she says I’m talking too much!! I noticed everyone in the diner was watching to see how I would respond to Sophia. I really wanted to treat her with honor and dignity regardless of her financial situation. Homeless and pant less is not a reason to mistreat people. She ate two muffins, a hot chocolate and the half of my omelet and potatoes that I didn’t.

As quickly as she appeared, she disappeared into the wind and me with the bill. It’s the least I could do. Dear Lord, Bless and protect Sophia and help her find her wiener dog stolen while she slept. She welcomed herself to my glass of water so I’ll request a new one and be on my way.

The moral of this experience is….I have no clue, desire to own dolphins, order two waters? How about TREAT PEOPLE HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED!! I started to ask for a picture to prove I’m not lying but if I’m ever out here in toothpicks, plastic straws and pocket squares, I’m really not in the mood for a photo shoot!! I promise. On second thought, nevermind.

I love you

ClueLessWIL