therealwil.com

Out of all the cartoons we grew up with, this one kept us glued to the television. We loved Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner. The cartoon has continually had the same story line from its inception. The Coyote repeatedly attempts to catch the Road Runner, but the fast-running bird always escapes.

In an effort to catch the Road Runner, Wile E. uses absurdly complex contraptions and elaborate plans to pursue his prey, which always comically BACKFIRE.
Wile E. Coyote obtains complex and ludicrous devices from a mail-order company, Acme Corporation, which he hopes will help him catch the Road Runner. The problem is that ALL THE DEVICES FAIL.

Whether this is operator error or faulty merchandise it’s questionable. The coyote usually ends up burnt to a crisp, squashed flat, or at the bottom of a CANYON.

Occasionally, Acme products do work quite well like the Dehydrated Boulders, Bat-Man Outfit, Rocket Sled, Jet Powered Roller Skates and the Earthquake Pills. The Dehydrated Boulder, upon hydration, becomes so large that it crushes him. The Earthquake Pills bottle label’s fine print states that the pills aren’t effective on road runners, right after he swallows the whole bottle, thinking they’re ineffective. Nevertheless, HE NEVER CATCHES THE ROADRUNNER!!

While the Coyote is generally silent, he speaks with a refined accent in one episode introducing himself as “Wile E. Coyote — super genius”. The Road Runner is only known for the signature sound, “Beep, Beep”, and an occasional “popping-cork” tongue noise.

I want to offer REASONS WHY I THINK WILE E. COYOTE CANNOT CATCH THE ROAD RUNNER.

1. Wile E. Coyote is a COYOTE. Coyotes are one of nature’s most adaptable creatures. They are able to change their breeding, diet, and social activities to survive in different habitats. Wile E. could have simply chose to hunt something else other than his taste for Road Runner. It is his PRIDE that drives him to only hunt this one particular bird. When he could have been feasting on a lizard sandwich on cactus leaves with a side of field mice, he chooses to starve chasing one chick(no pun intended).

2. He was not a team player. Coyotes hunt in packs to ensure success in catching prey. Wile E. seems to be happy hunting by himself. No man is an island to himself. Everybody needs some help at some point.

3. He didn’t use his God-given ability. Wile E. uses absurdly complex contraptions and elaborate plans to pursue his prey. He is a Coyote with ANIMAL INSTINCTS. Why he uses man-made mail order materials to trap a road runner is CRAZY? God made him a Coyote. I’m not even sure how he ordered the stuff or offered ACME with an address to deliver. What I do know is, He was a Coyote, Wile E. Coyote, super genius, to be exact. HE HAS NATURAL INSTINCT. His natural instinct involves a keen sense of smell, the ability to hunt day or night, and great speed. By natural ability, he could have very well trapped all that he wanted and needed.

The moral of this story seems to be: A Self-centered, prideful, Coyote who is not a team player, will be soon STARVE with a RIDICULOUS CREDIT CARD BILL with ACME.

Peace