Talk to Yourselffirstname.lastname@example.org
I told somebody the other day, I think I started changing for the better the day I made reference to myself in the third person. What do you mean? The day I started talking to myself. I know it’s been an age old no no to talk to yourself but I think it’s quite healthy. I think the warning from others is just don’t answer back. If I ask myself a question, why not answer me back? If other can ask me questions, why can’t I? Why allow others to answer questions about me they only I know?
I think I wrote about this some time ago. Since I am presently in transition and relocating myself, I feel the need to keep an internal spot check going from time to time. The only way I can do this is by getting outside of me and checking me out.
When you go through a crisis, people always ask, how are you doing? My response is, I think I’m doing ok. I think it’s like getting t-boned in the middle of the intersection of a busy road and assessing the damage of the car from the inside of it. I assume that I am ok but I won’t really know until I get out and take a look for myself.
A self check is good because allowing others to do it could be devastating. Your life is far too valuable to allow another untrained person to diagnose and draw conclusions about your situation. Even when you total a car, your insurance company hires someone skilled to take apart your car to assess the true damage of the car. They can identify all the broken pieces. They pull the bumper off to see damage underneath but still they cannot see the emotional damage done.
That’s why it takes the third person in you, to get out, walk around, check the car out, and report back. The third person has your best interest in mind and they know you.
Let me offer a few reasons why I think this works:
1. The third person is You. You will be both honest, sensitive, and supportive of yourself.
2. The third person can recognize a change in you during a crisis, but also encourage you to give yourself a break.
3. The third person is always around and present. It’s a part of you that doesn’t require a briefing about what happened or what’s going on. You will always have available a real time observation.
4. When people see from a different perspective, the third person sees what you see and more.
Here is an example of a good third person response. I notice I am feeling down and frustrated. I’m not eating like I should and not as happy. The third party says, “Dude, give yourself a break!! You went through a major crisis and you are human. It’s normal to feel these feelings. Relax, It takes time. Keep your thoughts and actions in check and keep it moving.”
5. I guess the third person allows you to be human and capable of making mistakes. People sometimes will not afford you this opportunity. We rely so much on the opinions and recommendations of others. Why not trust you to look after you?
6. The third person allows you to be proud of yourself for going through so much and yet you still persevere. The world continues to judge you on what new movies you have starred in lately. The third person allows you to celebrate how far you’ve come. I can promise you that people will not be readily available to support in this area.
A few years ago, when you pulled into the gas station, all of them were “full service.” You never had to get out your car. You pulled in, someone greeted you, pumped your gas, and checked your oil for free. Now every pump is Self-service.
Your third person is necessary because this world is on self serve.