I think this one of my favorite pictures. It’s not the best picture of him at his best, but it was actually a picture of him at one of his low times.
What makes this one so monumental is he that took an honest look at himself in the mirror and notices how much he has changed on the outside. He recognizes that he is no longer governed by what he looks like on the outside but who he is on he inside.
I am trying to get this!!!!
What makes it tough for me is when I see sickly pics of him in bad times. Who willfully takes treatment and pills that take out your hair, burn your skin, and keeps you nauseated? We purposely didn’t make these public. We felt it was our responsibility to spare those whose faith was a bit weaker the agony.
Sometimes I look and remember his painful tough battle and it brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could have saved him from so much hurt. What a helpless feeling it is to not be able to relieve your child from suffering.
I think about how I am messed up when I need a haircut or if I feel a tad bit ill. As we age, many of us dread the inevitable process of losing our youthful disposition. It’s seems to be a real race to find “the core you” inside before the “external superficial you” deteriorates. Before one more hair turns grey, another tooth loosens, or we gain one more pound, let us hurry up and locate a city called, “the real me internally.”
Angelo seemed to found himself early and loved it. Even if he didn’t love it, he at least found peace within. That’s more than I can say for myself at this point. Believe me, I am racing to find it.
I think the funky part about illness is how people look and stare at you. A glance would be fine and acceptable, but the freakish shares are a bit much. I understand why many who are sick stay in and refuse to go out. It’s not that they are depressed in most cases, but it’s the inconsiderate cold treatment by outsiders. I never forget our first encounter with Angelo in a wheelchair. He was bothered more by the alienation and stares than his own insecurities. The world should be sympathetic and warm towards people going through.
I marvel at his strength and inner swag. He just had it. It is true, either you have it or you don’t. Angelo proved that swag is not a cologne, a belt buckle, expensive clothes, or shoes. Many people can wear them and still not be fly.
He lived his life in a way that displayed GREAT STRENGTH in weakness. HIS HEART AND MIND WAS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN HIS BODY. I guess when you outgrow your house, you have to move!!