The Seven Deadliest Words Ever Spoken!! @therealwil.com
“Sorry, I don’t discuss my personal business,” the voice said. The day it felt like the world stopped or at least in the break room. You would have thought those were the words used to cast a wicked spell. At the word, “business,” the whole world slammed on the brakes and the universe went into ultra slow motion. The sound and movement of everything was moving at a super slow speed. Just like in the movies.
Freeze the frame and let me go back to the beginning. This will help make sense. People are nosey. Somehow everybody wants and feels the need to be in everybody’s business. Social media is actually nosey on steroids. Nosey is everywhere. On your job, in your neighborhood, in your family and relationships, and of all places your church. There is no place and no gathering safe. Wherever people are nosey will be.
I want to share the conversation that I overheard and then make a few observations if you don’t mind. There was a group of ladies chatting around the water cooler at work. The volume was crazy because everybody was talking at the same time. It was a Monday and they are discussing their extra curricular activities that have come to pass over the weekend. Everybody is going in one after the other. An earful is an understatement when labeling the information freely shared.
You almost feel privileged to be given access to some of what should be classified top secret information. What Mary and her husband tried Saturday night in bed, where Betty woke up at, and the bumps that somehow came out of nowhere on Tori’s wazoo, all seem a bit too personal but you roll with it. Standing here you feel as though $1.25 for a vending machine pop tart is a small price to pay to gain access to this DEFCON four classified information. I actually don’t remember applying for a top secret classification. Who knows? I just know I’m here eating this cold pop tart and I am learning so much. I must add that I feel trusted. They trust me, I have gained acceptance and I feel really good about myself with the group. I must admit the warmth of the room is welcoming to sharing of personal information, or so you feel.
All was going well, then out of nowhere the scene out of the Matrix happened. Natasha turns to Sharon Jones while
coming out of a side splitting laugh and says, “So Sharon, you get any action this weekend?” Sharon replied, “ Girl, you know I don’t share my personal business at work.” I swear it felt the entire universe slammed into a brick wall. You know how they video tape in slow motion an automobile involved in a head-on collision from the inside? It was just like that.
Now I’m probably be using more paint than necessary but I really want you to see and feel what happened. Everybody stopped talking and I stopped eating my pop tart. What did she say? Sharon comfortably and willing repeated her statement. She said, “I don’t share my personal business at work.” You would have thought she just used profanity and racial slurs all in the same sentence. Needless to say, Natasha was totally upset, embarrassed, and offended. Everybody else in the break room acted secretly offended as well but nobody spoke up. All I can tell you is the break was over and everybody returned back to their duty stations shocked.
This is where the questions come in. Why is Natasha and the other break room journalist and news reporters so upset? Is the unspoken rule here? I thought I would get this party started with a few thoughts.
1. Why is that people believe that because they share their personal business, that I am automatically expected to share mine? Do I owe you that?
2. Why is it that people get upset when their personal information is all over the company but overlook the fact that they shared the information initially?
3. Why do people get angry when you keep them out of your personal business?
4. Who told you that you have a right to my business?
5. Why is my business your business? What can you do constructive with my personal information?
If you don’t want anyone in your personal business don’t share it. Once you share it you can’t get it back. People have a tendency to use what you share about you against you.
I want to offer you the opportunity to experience the matrix move at your place of employment, book club gathering or church. If you want to be disliked and talked about. If you have a real desire to see who really is for you and who really dislikes you, try this.
The very next time someone ask you to share intimate information, just simply smile and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t discuss my personal business.” Your co-workers, fellow church members, Girl Scout mothers, and family members will flip.
Now if you are afraid of the rejection and dismissal from the water cooler crew, don’t do it. If your existence and retirement is solely based upon the acceptance and love from the vending
machine journalists, never utter these words.
Now if you want to keep your business confidential, I highly recommend you crash the party. Loose lips sink ships!!
Let’s practice it together shall we?
So, person reading this blog, how much money is in your bank account?
Let’s say it with love together, “I’m sorry, but I don’t discuss my personal business.” See that wasn’t so bad was it? Go try it on someone nosey and get back to me. I’ll be waiting for your response.