It’s the picture of two hands held tight together but bad decisions have ruthlessly pried them apart and now I am forced to feel the cold bitter chill of what it feels like to take long walks by my damn self. No one to lean into, no one to laugh with. I CANNOT HIDE.
With no hugs and body heat to share and ward off the cold, the frigid stale winds cut through my garments and assault me with a bone chilling jolt that even Grandma’s quilts couldn’t unthaw. I CANNOT HIDE THE FACT.
“Table for two,” is the reply given to the restaurant hostess with a request to seat us. The amazing feeling of just being out with someone special is not the vibe at this table. That joy will not be served in this unromantic booth tonight. I CANNOT HIDE THE FACT THAT.
To sell the lie, We started with matching menus, flatware, and a glass of spring water on your side of the table, while we wait for you to NEVER arrive. The truth is revealed when the busboy eases by and removes the unused plates and silverware. It would have been easier to offer the truth but most times the answer for “table for one,” is usually met with a crappy selection of seating arrangements in bad spots. Follow me!! Next to the kitchen, in an aisle, or in the middle of the floor of the overflow room, hidden and out of the way is where I’m being led. It’s exactly what I didn’t want. I CANNOT BELIEVE THE FACT THAT I…
When distance was never considered with our romantic walks, now I feel every damn step. I keep looking back to see how far I’ve traveled and what it will take to get back. What use to be long endless walks of love with music serenading us from our hearts, has now become mind torturing silence coupled with competing voices of negativity fighting to be heard. During late hours and down dark streets, we rested in the love and safety of one another but now I feel like a weird, homeless wanderer, a helpless mark and perfect prey to a predator. I CANNOT BELIEVE THE FACT THAT I AM…..
Netflix and chill, wine and snuggling, sporadic kisses and heavy petting, have all been replaced with a dry cold ham sandwich, four bottles of warm beer, a nappy blanket, a bad movie and my hand in the front of my pants looking for loose change. I CANNOT BELIEVE THE FACT THAT I AM BY….
Who am I fooling? In the spot, dressed to the nine, looking and smelling good. I’m playing the bar near the dance floor so my ice can glisten or so I think. In reality, I’m looking like a stalker on the prowl wearing a twisted herringbone, scouring the land to pick off the innocent, sick and old. Nobody is even remotely attracted to me other than this old lady that keeps introducing herself. Gone somewhere lady. Everybody’s booed up but me, so I chose the black ensemble with the hoodie. Why? I have no clue. What sounds good in theory doesn’t always play out the same in all environments. My “Wesley Snipes look in New Jack City,” looked more like America’s Most Wanted. I feel more like a bank robber than an eligible bachelor. I leave the lounge saying to my self, I CANNOT BELIEVE THE FACT THAT I AM BY MYSELF!!
It takes a minute for it to settle in but it unfolds and evolves after a while…please be patient with single people!! Don’t be alarmed!! It’s only scenarios and scattered thoughts. You never know how a person thinks and sees things. I would recommend taking off the dark tinted sunglasses Bro. It shades your perception of everything you see!! Thus the word,”SHADES.”
This is beautifully written.
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