Heartbroken House Cleaning
Evidently you have an idea of what it takes to clean up the heart break in my heart and home. I’m sitting in the middle of the floor of my room and heart and it’s a damn mess. The tears rolling down my face burn like acid and you still don’t understand.
I have somehow found myself in the path of an evil tornado. Everything I’ve owned and ever believed about us is scattered across the field of my life.You touched down, annihilated me and kept going. No really, It looks more like a freaking crime scene!! The table turned over, lamps knocked down, the curtains ripped, the tv smashed, every glass and plate shattered, and the whole place is in disarray.
Now I’m here trying to clean up from a breakup and wash and scrub you out of my life. At the same time I’m looking for clues of what would possess you to do some crap like this. I would be lying if I said it was just house cleaning. It head and heart cleaning too. If it was just house cleaning, I would just throw all of your belongings in the dumpster around the corner. I don’t even want it in my dumpster. That’s too close and the truck don’t run until Thursday. Every broke frame with shatter glass in the pile has a picture of you and I smiling and embracing. A frozen memory of what I thought it was. What the hell does your wall look like? Framed lies and deceit behind glass? Why protect the picture with glass and not protect the love and life we built?
Now I have to delete every picture, every post, and every text that you ever sent me. You get this right? I don’t want to see or hear from you again. How is it that people think that you can destroy a person and apologize five minutes later as if I’m not still reeling from that fatal blow?? I’m not really sure if the pain is because of what you did to me or if it’s the fact that you have made look like a fool to someone else. That’s a whole new issue. Please table that one. I could just throw the whole phone away, the whole house away but I can’t throw my heart and mind away.
Here I go again. I promised myself that I wouldn’t get caught up with this kinda mess again. I almost pleaded and begged you in the beginning not to press me especially if you knew you weren’t serious.
I’m changing my sheets, washing my window sills, and vacuuming this floor like sin has seeped in and soiled it. I want you out. Every stitch of clothing you own or I have worn, I will remove. I’m house cleaning as well as heart cleaning. I don’t want to see you or smell you. Bleach and Ammonia may kill rid a place of some germs and I wish it were that easy with you but it’s not. I wish they sold “Rid-A-Bum,” in a 2 liter spray bottle. I would still be squirting. I guess I’ll just have to wait this one out. In the meantime, I will rid myself of every fingerprint, picture, post, purchase, and possession, thought and memory of you, out of my life.
The Windex will clear up my reflection. Now I only see myself happy and fulfilled without you. The furniture polish will restore the luster and shine that you have dulled over the years with your ignorance and immature ways. The vacuum cleaner with suck it all up!! The dirt of infidelity that you continuously tracked in from outdoors and the substandard crumbs of love that you always seem to offer me. I no longer need it. The air fresher will restore a sweet smelling aroma and ambiance back into my home and heart. The stench of your ignorance, unfaithfulness and lies will no longer linger and reek in this house and heart again… Don’t bother me, I’m too busy cleaning up my head, my heart and my Home!!