Are You Still Out There?


Prior to departing, like flight attendants making finals checks, we come through one more time checking for anything out of place. “You good Bro?” Comes the call from the living room and I’m in the mirror in the bathroom. “Yes sir!!!” As I recheck the swag and the confidence meter. “What’s up baby!! is my practice line that I rehearse out loud. As I check the ivory and lip shine, too much is a violation and not enough is grounds for disqualification. Boom, we on point. I run through the cologne selection and choose my weapon of choice!! Bro selected the Jimmy Choo and we ain’t twins so I’m going in another direction. We big game fishing tonight so no need to offer the same chum to the Flying Sailfish!!!


We’re not really concerned about who makes the catch cause we’re fishing and it’s a recreational sport and a favorite past time. We are posted up according to the fish finder, in the right spot. I’m not watching but we know if one of the rods bend, we have intel that indicates fish on the line. We play it cool because inquisitive fish nibble the bait and bounce often. Sometimes they steal the bait and escape the hook but it’s cool. Reset and throw the lifeline back out into the ocean and chill. We’re small talking and chopping it up but we are well aware of the shift of the sea and the activity above and below the surface of the water.

We are Mariners in plain clothes and making cigar smoking look good. If he catches, I’ll get the net and be happy for him. Intimidation and jealousy have no room on the yacht, we sailors with style and class. When you’re real, you love to see others shine and you gladly offer the space of limelight rather than fight over it. If he hooks and makes the catch, I play the back and keep the rest of the school entertained. Most times they swim in pairs or a group, so I’m responsible for the whole crew. One startled salmon can spook the whole school and we can’t afford that. If I have the line, then he’s got the whole crew swaying and in stitches.

We laughing because we want nothing from them but smiles and the willingness to add florescent paint to the crush velvet canvas of our amazing night. We not taking fish home so no need for equipment to transport. Everything we catch, we take the pic, make the memory and throw back. Let them live tonight Big Homey!!


We switch the spot up because the fish finder ain’t beeping. We drop anchor in this forties and older spot. You know the scene. We enter in and automatically we catch the vibe of the space. It’s warmer in here. The lights are disco dim and the strobe light is dancing like it’s having a seizure. It looks more like prison guard lights searching for escaped prisoners. We can feel the hum of the crowd watching as pay to get it. She stamps my hand but holds it two seconds too long. “Save me a dance with your good smelling self!” She says. I can’t hear her because my eyes ain’t feeling her. “Gone Mareen,” is what I whisper under my breath. Plus, low hanging fruit and top water swimmers are always a red flag. How do you get caught at the door before you even get in the water? Don’t play yourself. If a push becomes a shove and business is bad, ain’t no harm dancing with auntie. Everybody need some love. Bring that Easter dress, them fat ankles and footies out here on this floor. He’s playing Cherelle and Alexander O’Neil’s “Saturday Love!” and we cooking like we on Soul Train. I’m open for a few free feels but don’t get carried away. I want to make your night special girl.🙄


We push past the bouncer interested in making his presence known for some reason. What is that really all about? Relax Homey!! You don’t need all that energy to check my ID. I always recite Martin Lawrence’s line, “I see you, I see you (Flashlight Cop). The path opens up to the dance floor surrounded by tables all around it and the bar in the back. We plan our stroll to the beverage stand while simultaneously searching for our post up spot.

We grab our beverages, turn around and take a panoramic view of the whole scenario. Like two Lions overlooking the pride, we scoping!! We see no available that would suit us so we stand to the side and read the play. We are not on the field yet but coach can call us into the game at any moment. We are suited and booted.
From the left and all the way in the back is the weird dude sitting by himself. It’s cold back there and the music loses its bump way back there. He ain’t catching nothing but a cold back there so my eyes keep scrolling. I see couples, couples, and more couples. I’m happy about that and I mentally label them off limits. After a few drinks, they loosen up but if she gets mad again about a past argument, she’ll be looking to dirty dance with an innocent bystander. This is checkers, You have to watch the board at all time. You will mess around and get double jumped.

I skim the dance floor for the real dancers. I don’t pay much attention to the ones that are seeking attention plus those shoes are so tight they hurt my feet. I keep going and I see them and I give the bump to Bro. He looks and I give him the head nod for three o clock. He shifts his attention to three and gives the head nod with the short straw in the corner of the mouth. “Un huh!!!” He says.
It’s a pretty pair of doves perked upon an oak branch and we are chicken hawking!! We don’t pounce, we watch first. A few courageous contenders take the long walk over to request a dance but they take the walk of shame back because of the rejection. You think Jesus flipped tables? Let me get a no and see what happens. I spare all of us the drama and myself a tussle with Mr. Nine dollars an hour with the fake badge. He is looking for anything to pop off. He’s been in the mirror practicing and the green belt training is itching to be employed. I switch my thinking. Sylvester Stone wanna be!!

Bro says, “Gone man, Go over and introduce yourself!!” I take two sips of Pepsi and take the walk. “Hey what’s happening!!” When I’m nervous, I usually communicate the obvious. “Y’all ll know everybody is scared to come over here because of the body count. You all are killing the dreams of a million men tonight.” If you plan on telling me no, I’m going to sit her and laugh with you all for at least five minutes before I get up.
I didn’t come to dance. Well what you doing here? I said, “My auntie fry chicken at the hotel.” How come I feel like I’m lying?
Which one of you is drunk and who used too much glitter lotion tonight? Somebody got the whole side of this club lit up tonight!! It’s so much easier to laugh with people than to be so serious.

TRUTHFULLY…
I honestly had real intentions on spinning this into a deep love story about how I met her through the craziness of the club setting. I was gonna tell you how two right people can cross paths in wrong place at the right time. Somehow you know what you like and what likes you unconsciously searches for what it desires. It could be here tonight.


I just don’t want to be judged by the setting. This ain’t my club, I do have a glow in the dark stamp on my hand, I don’t know the maniac with the badge but this is my Pepsi. Ain’t nobody perfect. Rick Ross said, “Please excuse the weed smoke baby, I’m just trying to have a good time tonight.” I ain’t blaze no trees but I have unknowingly walked through a few clouds.


You know what? Maybe you and I, on the same night, agreed to be designated drivers for our friends and cousin. Tonight is Sheena’s Bday and my boy going through so we just got out to get some air. We thought we’d come through and here we are. It’s funny because neither one of us look like we belong here. Well at least we don’t look like we do this every Friday. We both are homebodies!! Some pajamas, good music, great conversation, a book and a not so late bed time would suffice.

We both have been through enough that neither one of us is interested in starting over with anybody. We could actually sit here all night and not talk to anybody and be perfectly fine. We walked in tonight with no desire or expectation of meeting anybody. We use to have fake names, stories and phone numbers on deck but now we both just say, thanks but no thanks. Could you be in here tonight?


Instead of asking the DJ to turn the music down so we can talk, I wanna say, “Let’s go sit in the lobby,” because real quality conversation can talk all night and deserves to be heard. This way I get to see your beautiful eyes and smile in the light. We both get the opportunity to be transparent and open. It’s hard to make any progress talking over Atomic Dog, flashing lights and a ex army bouncer with PTSD that keeps walking around. Who hired him anyway and why does he have three pair of handcuffs and no pistol? Which three of us is going to stand still and let this man cuff us? He has shades on and pepper spray. I’m sure the spray cap is jammed, he can’t see, and he stutters.


I know you are here!! Say something so we can get out of this crazy place. We have some catching up to do. I still believe in love and I am searching for you!! I hope you haven’t given up on love because I can’t keep coming to these places. The Pepsi is flat and watered down. Are you in here my Love?


Love ya#StillOutHereWIL

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