therealwil.com

I’ve created dishes, planned escapes, wrote songs, spoke before thousands, traveled to exotic places, made absolutely incredible love, earned standing ovations, written best sellers, achieved international recognition, inspired thousands, worn the finest of custom clothing, eaten in the finest places, worked with some of the greatest of artist, but all of it has been lived out within the confines of my own head and the distance between my two ears.

The average brain is 15 centimeters long. My world won’t fit in 15 centimeters of space so I’m moving out!!

Nowadays, I think of sharing an amazing home with the woman of my dreams. I see great times within the kitchen whereby we listen to music, talk and prepare meals plus try new recipes. I have an amazing gas grill out on the patio and the smoker is in full effect. The pool is clear and cool. The cars are all washed and waxed, the lawn is golf course green and professionally manicured. We have one small dog and it’s a hot summer day. The Harley street glider is posted up on the sidewalk wishing we get some road time in. I’ll save it for when the sun goes down. It’s too hot for an all leather outfit, the polished half helmet and the guns blasting out the cut off sleeves. It’s the four way intersection scene that always gets me. The bike black and the chrome is glistening in the sun and evening lights. Of course, the sound system is bumping like I’m Deejaying for the intersection. The exhaust pipe is shaking and rumbling like an angry animal. The sound is loud but not offensive. My presence is felt by everyone in the four way. I’ve got the black Harley boots and the world is lucky I might add. I chose not to click on the chrome spurs this morning in the ride out. The triceps are posing like it’s the Mr. Universe pose down. The tattoo has stretched the length of the arm and seems to be drawing itself. I’ve got my Queen on the back of the chariot and we matching like Bonnie and Clyde. We are either getting ready to rob a bank, crash a banquet or bounce to a Bar-b-que. Either way, we are looking good doing it!! The macho stuff is cool but the sweetest part is the small kids in the back seat of the car in the lane next to us. It’s the little girl and boy waving from car seats. They are always blown away when you wave back. One wave could seal the fate of these kids. They too will be bike riders one day. Did I mention the dark shades? Dark and I mean dark!! Darth Vader black and my girl is rocking hers as well. If we walked inside an establishment with these on, we would look like Blind Albert and Alisha. Of course we are way too cool to miss steps!!

The average brain is 15 centimeters long. My world won’t fit in 15 centimeters of space so I’m moving out!!

After the cars are washed, the lawn is manicured, the grill has smoked the steaks and the meal consumed, we are headed upstairs to get ready for the white party. We have great friends and they truly know how to have a great time. We are wearing white so pure that it had to be shipped from Heaven. I ain’t lying. An Angel dropped it off like FedEx. HolyEx was the sign on the truck!! (Do they have trucks in Heaven?) I mean the whitest white. We have plans to pull up at the party during prime time with our assigned items. I’ve got so much tire shine on the wheels of our car that it leaves a trail from our house to where the party is. The Queen is looking quite sexy on the passenger side. I’m driving and checking her out with one eye and driving with the other. She’s wearing wedding white and she’s looking delicious. When we get to the party, I’ve got plans to walk through the crowd and introduce myself to her again as if I don’t know this fine mamma-jammer!! I’m just saying!!

I have enough cologne on to bless an entire city block or an outdoor concert of people. Don’t hate me, just appreciate my heart for desiring to bless the people. I’m a giver, what can I say? We pull up to the house!! The walk in is ALWAYS the bomb. The Queen has to go through the door first. Wait let’s let the Jacksons go in first. Charles and Brenda have been fighting before they came so he’s mad. He goes in first and straight to the bar and she heads to the kitchen with that bland coleslaw. Nobody like it so they always take a bunch home. It’s coleslaw for the week for them. I see why they fight. After it airs out, we come through like the Obamas!!! Just before I walk in My Queen buttons up my third button on my linen shirt. With the sweetest voice she says, “Who are you Teddy Pendergrass? “I don’t trust these chicks Mister.” It’s ok, I trust my baby!! Of course, as soon as I walk through the patio door and out to the lawn, it’s coming back loose. Crazy button!!! She heads towards the ladies and that convo and I’m headed toward my guys!!! I don’t trust none of them either haha. Lucky I didn’t find that white long sleeve turtleneck shirt for her to wear tonight. I’m just teasing. We are mad and passionately in love with one another. Real love can be felt a mile away is appreciated by all.

The average brain is 15 centimeters long. My world won’t fit in 15 centimeters of space so I’m moving out!!

Other than leaving, the best part for us is when we get to dance under the night stars. I can feel it!! The night breeze blowing, stars in the sky, music is grooving and everyone is in a great mood. The coleslaw couple left an hour ago. They were teammates and lost in a card game and started fussing at each other. It’s crazy what six beers, and bad coleslaw can do to a relationship, plus the strap on her summer wedges broke. She wasn’t happy about that plus Charles left her slip-ons at the house after she told her clearly to put them in the car.

The dancing is our thing. I love this girl. I am the luckiest man in the world. The best part for us is heading home to an empty house. Whoo hoo!! We both smell like dated cologne, outdoors, bbq and soul juice. We are coming up our block calling the play. We have a few chores before we retire so we rehearse the plan. We parking in the garage so she’s taking a few things to the kitchen. I’m headed out to check the sprinkler head I just installed this morning. The grass is wet and well nourished for the night so I turn the water off. I bring the hose in, let the garage down and secure the house for the night. By the time I come through the kitchen, she’s headed up stairs with her sandals and purse in hand. She give me a peck as she heads upstairs. It’s just enough kiss to make me change my plan and take the garbage out on the morning. I ain’t thinking about no garbage right now!! I hit all the lights except the light over the stove. I grilled before we left and there is a pan covered with foil and filled with all the good stuff. I was headed up stairs but the bbq called my name plus she’s gonna get in the shower first. I fixed me a plate and popped it in the microwave. “You eating again?” She says from upstairs. I act like I can’t hear her and don’t answer. I wait a few minutes and shout upstairs, “What did you say baby?”she says, “ I’m getting in the shower!!” Yes!!!!! I finish my food and wipe my mouth like I’m doing something illegal. It’s my house and my bbq!!! By the time I take two steps headed upstairs, I start smiling because I can smell shower gel fruitiness!! I’m whispering under my breath, “I really love Jesus!!” “Hey Siri!! Play Luther Super Man!!!” As I am kicking my gym shoes off, I am singing loud like I wrote the lyrics myself!! I can hear the shower and I swear it sounds like the Niagara falls is recreated in there. I almost pull a muscle and choke myself trying to get out of that doggone linen shirt she buttoned up again when I wasn’t looking. Here I come baby!! I cannot make this stuff up.

The average brain is 15 centimeters long. My world won’t fit in 15 centimeters of space so I’m moving out!!

I gotta go. Bubbles and the Queen await me!!

Love y’all

#TheQueen’sRoyalBackWasherWIL