Confession of a Valentine’s Day Scrooge!! @therealwil.com
Strange thing love. It sounds like something Prince would say. Electric word life it means forever and that’s a might long time. You hate it when it goes bad but love it oh so good. It makes you sick but you crave it. You love how it feels but yet you hate how It can makes you feel. You love influencing others with its power but hate it’s control over you. You love seeing a fool in love but hate when it’s you. Is it a drug or a spell? We love the power of love but we loathe that power when it lures, drags, and overpowers us.
When it’s good, nothing else matters. Legitimate concerns like time, money, distance, work the next morning, are the least of our concerns. Al Green said, “Love will make you do right and wrong,” among other things. It makes you do what you claimed you wouldn’t. When love calls, Atlantic Star said, you better answer. I’ve come to the conclusion, if you get it right, you will answer.
Well, at this point I’m running. Love can’t catch me cause I got one foot in, one eye open, I only listen with one ear, and only hold one hand. That way if something go down, I’m not trapped in the room, I got the door jammed.
I am V-day Scrooge. The humbug of not Christmas but Love day. Ain’t always been this way but been burnt. You know the old bait and switch.
The old cheese on the trap. The old take my heart and stomp the crap out of it. I found out, I’m not by myself. There is a nation of us.
I started to be Scrooge-like today but I had a change of heart. Why rain on everybody else’s parade cause my float is on a flat? It’s not like peeing on their grass is gonna make your grow.
It’s hard to watch all that deep passionate kissing and hugging, smiling and laughing, when your lips ain’t touching nothing but carmex.
Oh my God, do they have to stand so perfectly close and laugh so doggone loud? It was not that funny. Don’t yell out, “Get a room!” They might yell back, “We on our way!”
Just admit it, I’m JEALOUS!! One ain’t all that fun. One ticket, one pop, A box of popcorn, and a whole box of chocolate to eat by myself? You ever say to yourself, what’s wrong with me? I could see if I was monkey ugly broke, burnt up, and tired. I understand I ain’t working with a full bottle of coke. It’s at least enough to quench a seasoned woman’s thirst. I’m at least enough to get down a bite of a Jimmy John sandwich. A good swig at least.
I just didn’t want to be Scrooge today. It’s funny but yet its projection. Why kill love for everybody else. Here’s my recommendation for my fellow Scrooges:
1. Don’t lie, but if you see a couple that looks really great together tell them. You all really look great together. (This is gonna be hard for some of you all.)
2. Don’t turn over the card racks at Walgreens and curse all your ex’s out. Don’t steal the edible people’s truck and ditch it. Find constructive thing to do. Either show love to friends and family, or come hang out with the rest of the Scrooges at planet fitness.
3. Go in your basement, put out all the love songs you have ever known, put them in your playlist, and press repeat. Turn the dimmer switch on low, slow dance and sing to yourself until your arms get numb. If love don’t show up, at least your will have really nice strong arms.
4. Remember, you have to be able identify, celebrate, and admire love before it will come back. You have to admit that sounds good at least.
5. If all else fails, buy up all the doggone chocolate in the store from lovers, eat it, go home, get in the mirror upstairs, and dance really fast. I can’t give you the final results because I haven’t tried this. I do believe this will burn up some time to get you through this God forsaken day.
I’m gonna be the Scrooge police today. I’m giving ticket to all Scrooges. Let me catch you in the back booth of McDonald’s stuffing your mouth four fries at a time, and rolling your eyes at that couple.
Let me catch you blasting Easy E. on all the radios in Kmart at the same time.
Let me catch you skating by yourself like a fool and the Dj already announced this song is for couples to skate. Dragging your baby out there don’t count!!
Cut it out!!
DON’T BE A SCROOGE!!
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