Something Is Calling Me

Something is calling me. This will either make total sense or sound like total nonsense to you. Something is calling me. It seems to know my name better than I know it. The sound is even more authentic than when a mother calls her child’s name. It resonates loud and deep within my soul and demands to be answered. A sort of internal phone ringing continuously begging to be answered.

You hear it don’t you? You ears don’t pick it up so you can’t drown it out with more noise. It’s clearly internal. Something is calling me. It’s been with me a long time. It is triggered by great authentic music, gifted people, genuine spiritual moments, a safe place conducive for learning, and the company loving people. As soon as one of these show up, the calling comes.

Yes, the Voice! The pull, the unction, the uneasiness, the inability to rest, the desire to sit in front of an instrument, a pen, a microphone, or something that will allow you to empty that which fills your soul. Full and overflowing is not what you feel but it’s actually what you are. It’s no figment of the imagination, it’s real.

People don’t understand it. Loved ones can know you for years and lay right next to you but still not grasp it. True loved ones just learn to support and give you space and time to leave their presence and not chase after a better love, but another of the same kind.

Some have learned the hard way, that competing is suicide. Some have tried to deter or busy us so that we couldn’t answer the call but all attempts were futile. Someone asked, “What is better than sex?” The answer comes back, “Answering the internal call within one’s soul.”

Human love is one expression but an internal calling to do and be used to do something is on a totally different level. He who stands between a person and the call will soon be plowed over and left behind. Help or hinder are the crossroads that will decide the fate of a person trying to love a person who hears something.

You hear that? The words of a person who seeks to answer the call with company in tow. The ring you hear is only for you. Canine ears can only hear sounds on a certain frequency. What canines can’t hear is your call. You are not crazy, you really do hear what everyone cannot hear.

Because others cannot hear it, they will attempt to dismiss and label you. Accept the isolation as an opportunity to track the sound and where it is leading you. I want to say it again in a different way, you can’t take others with you. They can only follow you as you follow it.

Years ago, I wanted to write a book about loving gifted people. I think it is such a worthy tool in relationships. Never compete, or impede a gifted person’s response to the call. They will despise you for it.

As a lover of a gifted person, I know you want some tangible thing like a multi-million dollar record deal, a lucrative contract, or a sold out stadium, to convince you and your friends that the call is real but it may not happen. You may very well be the only one in the audience of a dark, dank smoke filled bar in Seattle for a minute but keep the faith.

I know you can think of a million other things that our money should go to instead of paint and keyboards. I understand that food, water, shelter, and baby’s pampers are important, but work with me. Let’s be honest, it takes a different kind of person to allow your loved one to be in love with something else. It’s adulterous at its worst and lovingly sharing at best.

To love a person completely consumed with something other than you is difficult but possible. Greatness requires obsession with balance. Many who have abandoned family for the sake of calling may be on the road lonely, living out of motels forever, because they never learned how to balance family and career. Money and Grammys are no fun when you have no one to share it with.

Ignore the call? I tremble in fear of the fate that awaits you. Living in a world where nothing satisfies you and everything reminds you of what you should be doing, is torture enough for me.

Yes you hear it, something is calling you. I would answer it if I were you.

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