I Haven’t Been Interested In a While

Alice in Wonderland’s story spoke of a rabbit and a hole. Morpheus, in the movie, “The Matrix” spoke of how deep the rabbit hole can actually get. I can’t actually tell you how deep the rabbit hole gets but I am tired of burrowing deeper into darkness. Today, I am ready to emerge on the surface of the earth where the sun shines brightest. At 1am, It happened. The sun came up in my life and my head popped out of the hole. You can actually live in darkness and by artificial light long enough to forget what natural sunlight looks and feels like.

I began reading again. In particular, I started back following one of my favorite writing inspirations named Austin Kleon. It’s funny how following a person’s life can make your life make sense. In one of his blogs, He speaks about “giving himself over to things that interest him.” Those exact words exploded in my mind. I instantly wrote down the words, “I miss being interested.”

I’ve been burrowing in darkness to survive but I haven’t been interested in anything in a while. I noticed I hadn’t been reading. Who reads in the dark? It’s always the same with me and I heard it quoted by Austin, He says, if there is a problem with output, it’s really a problem with input.

You have to feed the monster dude!!! Every time I starve the monster, I get deeper and deeper in the hole of darkness. I am frustrated, I can’t create and my thinker struggles. The car is on empty and I feel immobilized.

I haven’t been interested in a while, Wow. Like children, it is so much easier to get us to spend time with things that we are interested in. I am most confident when I am thinking and creating. I amaze myself even when others are not equally amazed. The amazement for me is in knowing that if I put the right fuel in this baby, it will fly!!

Well, I’m interested in flying again!! I feel like the guy in the movie who opens the garage door, drags off the old dusty canvas that covers the antique he’s been working on. It’s time to crank this baby up and get her on the road again.

If you haven’t been interested in a while? Follow Austin’s recommendation, Lose yourself in something that interest you. He states, not just for a few days or weeks, but for months and years.


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  1. I understand exactly what you are saying. This happen in that causes us to put ourselves in a holding pattern. We begin to let go if the things that help us walk in the sun. Reading and gardening were my two things. Today I’m back in my yard, it hurts a lot more than it use to, but I’m here. Blessings to you always.


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