Woke up like I’ve been sleep all night. This is not foreign to me. The last five or six years God would wake me up at 3:30 on the dot to write. I leaned over to take this pic and text you a message. Thank you for truly praying for our family. With Angelo in Heaven, Rochelle and Tiara in Texas, myself in California, and Skye in Arizona, it is apparent that things change.
In moving to California, it meant I would have to live with some temporary or possibly permanent distance between SKYE and I. I repeated to her a line from a book I read of a mother leaving two young sons with family to go train for a better job, she said, “I am not leaving you but leaving for you.” Sometimes what seems like it’s for the greater good looks selfish. I made her the same promise that I made to her other brothers and sisters, “I don’t care where you go, I will find you and come to see about you.”
I don’t know what those words sound like from the receiving end, scary and possibly questionable I’m sure. I haven’t seen her since March and everyday since then my heart has cried. God opened up a window and some really kind people, including family helped make this day happen. Her Mom and I prearranged to surprise her. I rang the doorbell and when she saw me, she ran, cried, and hugged me for what seemed like an hour.
It is so important to keep your promise to these kids. If they can’t trust a loved one’s word, why trust anyone else?
I never wanted to live away from my kids. My Daddy never left us. I can hear her in the next bed sleeping and it sounds like a deep sleep of joy. I surely hope so. I am sure both of us will wake up like kids on Christmas to see if it was a dream.
I don’t know why or even when my life became so public but I don’t mind anymore. It’s been this way so long that it seems normal. You share it all on social media they say. In my defense, I contend, these people live, laugh, cry, and pray with us. They travel, eat, and shop with us.These people know my kids and have possibly never even met them. We are family.
Why? We are all real folks just trying to make it through this maze called life. I feel like I owe it to share some things. I didn’t get here by myself. I recognize people are praying. I can’t write a million letters to every person but I can write one to a million to say Thank you.
This girl never lost her smile and she is pretty resilient. I just hope her Dad showing up is a game changer. I have failed in a lot of things but I at least want to get the Dad thing right. So if you see us posting nutty pictures, just know that I’m freeing my child to express her inner self. Every child should feel comfortable to explore gifts and talents within the safety of family.
We talked to Rochelle and Tiara by FaceTime today and she has grown into an amazing beautiful woman and mother. I have come to the conclusion that we are all crazy, I just refuse to let life go by without telling you THANK YOU for helping us through it!! My promise is to keep praying for you as well.
Thank you again for your prayers!