INSECURITY- The Uninvited Guest
I wanted to attempt to explain a visitor that showed up on the same pillow with me this morning. I was actually looking at a picture of you and this visitor showed up. This is not the first visit. They’ve shown up in the past. I’ve noticed the appearances have become less and less over the years and I am glad. The problem is the havoc they cause during the span of the visit. I also made a note of the length of the visit. It’s never a long visit but the damage is horrendous. If my memory serves me well, I’m always left devastated by the end of the visit. This visitor is uninvited and never welcomed but still shows up.
Because I’ve lived a few years, I’ve accumulated scars and mental notes that are worthy of referencing. I am trying not to repeat the same blunders of my past. Warning, this visitor will cause you to sabotage perfection, douce black paint on your masterpiece, and set fire to your greatest work. It can and will rob you of the happiest moments of your life, if unchecked. It is why I’m writing, prevention.
When everything I’ve dreamed of and wanted showed up, so did you. When great thoughts of an amazing future together manifested, you spoke up. When I committed to love forever, you surfaced. Who are you? Insecurity
You make me feel unsure,unworthy and unaccomplished. You make me feel like I’m not enough and in competition with everybody greater than me. You remind me that no matter how great things are right now, I will not be enough and they will leave.
You switched the deck and with a slight of hand, you dealt me different cards. Insecurity marred my perfect picture and in turn I blamed the person who loved me for being unfaithful. How did that happen?
It’s not that people can’t handle great situations, gorgeous mates or intelligent partners who genuinely want to love them forever, people just let INSECURITY smash holes through love even solid as concrete.
I looked it up to prove my point. Insecurity is defined by these words; uncertainty, lack of confidence, the state of being open to danger or threat, not firmly fixed, liable to break or give way, expulsion is always possible, and anxious.
Point: I can have a moment of insecurity but not be an insecure person.
Even with a dreamy model situation, Insecurity makes me feel unsure. I lose confidence in myself and us. I’m afraid to trust. I feel open to attack and fear losing you to someone greater. I feel easy to be dismissed and replaced. Wow!!!
The problem is…..If you dance with insecurity, you can’t dance with the love of your life or the opportunity of a lifetime. Only one partner at a time.
On behalf of the person trying to love you, I have committed and given you all, still you dance with INSECURITY. The glass seems to be cracked and I cannot spend the rest of my life pouring MY GOOD STUFF into a glass that freely leaks it out the back and onto the ground.
In short, it wasn’t your LOVED ONE, it was you.
Evict Insecurity and live!!
You deal with this kind of stuff?
I love you