therealwil.com

I was gonna scroll right past it and let it go. No need to stop there. Why did I have to bust a U-turn mentally and scroll back. What was wrong with just letting it past and go on to other great thoughts of wisdom and nobility? It caught me and I’m not quite sure why. So what, it a few cuffs and clips? The other side said, “But they are carefully crafted in leather and quality stitching.”

Somebody took the time to handcraft these with attention to detail. Evidently they had the wearer in mind. Let us appreciate the time taken.

I’m not in the market for cuffs so I took a pass. I went on to something else until the picture kept calling me. I flip back asking quick questions. I’m thinking, maybe it’s the open computer that gives it mystic? You don’t know what folks type nowadays. Maybe they were in the mist of a computer chat and decided to make it into a visit. I just know we ain’t have this texting problem with Pica and Elite typewriters back in the eighties. I’d rather tell you or scribble it with a number two pencil than type it. We sent notes saying, “Do you like me yes or no,” not come over and let me chain you to the kitchen sink and take away your ability to make sound decisions!! Why the sink? You ain’t got no drano?

I’m tripping!! I look back at the picture and I discover that it might just be the wood grain polished finish of the desktop that seems to accentuate the form fitting wrist cuffs. Who left cuffs in the desk anyway? You pulled these out of drawer from somewhere? I see it’s a matching set? Is there an ensemble somewhere in the near vicinity that we don’t know about? Maybe they are ankle bracelets for a flying trapeze trick? These people are some freaks up in here!!!

Ok now!! Who deez fo? What’s crazy is you can hear the sound of the clamps as they secure some willful, cooperative, subject. Wait a minute, these are a part of a magic trick I bet? Houdini was an escape artist. I got it!! They are fashion bracelets!! Well at least until they click together. Oh Boy, We ain’t in Kansas no more Dorthy!!!

Well at least it’s a step up from house coat belt, trouser belt and scotch tape. My momma gone kill me for using all her good tape. It’s a school project gone bad and we ran out of Elmer glue. Some of you all need to step your game up.

During the day, they are an accent to a bikers outfit or a gothic’s gear hookup but dim the lights, slam two glasses of wine, crank up the fireplace, and we are headed towards a baby oil bondage fest and some compromising situation ships. Wait a minute can I get something to eat first? “Shhhhhh! She says!! Excuse me, While you’re at it, can we get an upgrade on eye blinders? The Nike shirt is sheer, smells worn and I can see you still. I’m just saying!! I’m trying to stay in the mood…Maybe I’m claustrophobic and my PTSD still flares up from time to time but maybe we need safe words? You ain’t listening. I can hear them clamps click and now you are in total control. Why you smiling? What is it about being in control that makes them smile? These clamps ain’t childproof? Do they have a safe release?….Shut up? Did you just tell me to shut up with the voice of a dark villainous vixen?? Why do you have that look in your eye? Who are you and say shut up one more time and the lights are coming back on Missy!!

I’m sorry you all know I don’t have an ounce of sense. I ain’t thinking about them bondage cuffs, you?

#IaintInItWil