This weird feeling, what is it? This feeling of uneasiness, what’s it all about? The anxious toss and turning, why? The tired, restless nights, I’m confused. The overthinking, the unhappiness, the sadness, the unrest!! I know what it is. It’s the In Between!!
I should have known. I’ve been here before. Nothing satisfies the hunger. I’m sick of the the same old things. I love my disciplines but I’m sick of the same clothes, same view and the same feeling. You ever felt sick of yourself? It happens when I’m “In Between.”
This is not choices, this is not vacillating, this is not being halted between two opinions, this is NOT the refusal to make a decision, this is IN TRANSITION!! This is what happens when I know things are about to change. When my norms are about to be new norms. The way life was is on its way to becoming a brand new way.
This is not negativity. This is optimism wrapped in reflection. It’s the contemplation of what the new life will expect and require. Leaving and arriving at the same time in your mind. Long before there is any physical movement of any molecules in the universe, there is a dance in the mind called forward thinking. I’m packing and unpacking at the same time. I went to bed, turned out the light, and closed my eyes, but I traveled all night in my mind. I’m “In Between.”
You don’t know what it is, you just know it’s coming!! Like the old woman from the South that can smell rain coming, the palm itch of the old man, the body ache of the person in tune with the inner man and hum of the Universe, “Somethins’ a brewing Hoss!! It’s always happens when I’m “In Between!”
God’s moves, although seamless from where He sits, are not always captured as such in my finite mind. I recognize my downloads are slow and take time. My mind doesn’t have the gigs. I apologize for being a little slow and it may really be the reason for the “Heebi-jeebies!!”
Rather it’s in the middle of decisions, doorways, intersections, meals, jobs or hairstyles, we don’t like the “In Between” feeling. We prefer the in or out, on or off, with us or against us kinda feeling.
I’m sorta like that man standing in the middle of a dirt crossroad in the middle of nowhere. I stoop down and grab a pinch of dirt and sprinkle a few crumbs of dirt in my mouth as a look across a vast land. I take a deep breath, hold it and exhale slowing. It’s then that it comes to me. I don’t know what the hell is going on and why did I put dirt in my mouth? I’m just going to relax, enjoy the ride and trust that God will reveal it at the right time!! I’m just tripping because I’m “In Between!!”
#CrossroadsWil #NativeWil #DirtEaterWil?