From the first day of school until it became uncool to walk in with your Daddy, I held her hand. It was natural, it was safe, encouraging and protective. Whatever she was facing or heading into, holding my hand I hoped calmed her. The shake of the first day of school, a new classroom, a new teacher and classmates, would be stilled by the peace and calm from my hand. Bigger than hers by design. His hand can handle what mine can’t.
I knew the day would come when she would no longer want or need the present presence but the support in the distance and rightfully so. The game changes and you have to be aware of the shift. It’s easy to get in your feelings but it’s not about you it’s about her. I remember the first day of school when she cried and didn’t want to let my hand go, so I stayed around until the teacher told me to leave. She assured me that as soon as I would let go, the magic would happen. I let go, left and I think my eyes leaked water onto my face in the car. They call us “Touchy feely people.”
Without saying a word, “Holding a hand can communicate any and everything that the English language could never convey. Words can lie but the holding of a hand cannot. Rather it be by the reluctance in the hand or the relaxed rest of the grip, it tells all. You ever held a hand that you didn’t want to? They knew it. You ever did the “dead fish” hand? They felt it. The “allergic, I don’t want your germs” hold? They sensed it. What about the, “I never want to ever let you go” hold? They call us “Touchy feely” people.
Those are the people that talk with their hands. When they make a point, they touch you. When they meet you, they touch. When they laugh and love, they really give you the business.
I just talked to Skye. We’re gonna work on writing a book/movie script together and call it, “Touch and Tell.” A story about “Touchy Feely people.” I wish I could tell you the rest but I’ll keep you posted.
As she gets older and even walking in the mall or grocery store, she wanted to hold my hand. It’s connection!! Everybody should have to the chance to experience the Amazing phenomenon of human connection. Love, fear and even anger can be felt through touch. Daddy called it, “Unconditional Love!!!” The first hand of TRUE LOVE any daughter ought to hold is that of her mom, dad or immediate family. This way she knows what true love feels like and what it does not request or require. Only genuine and unconditional Love.
When boys show up and they will, she will be able to distinguish not only in word or deed, but also in action a person’s true intent. If she can’t, I have an arsenal of support to run the riff raft away.
Then came her brothers and sisters. A different hand, different size but same touch. It’s unconstitutional love. Same feeling, same love, and same peace.
I snapped this picture years ago as we were leaving the hospital. When you love someone you want to touch them. She reached for his hand to hold. No questions, no explanation, just grab and go, and they were off. Down the hallway they scurried along. Looking like twins joined at the hand.
I don’t know what it feels like to have lost a big brother at such a young age. To have a hand to reach for and hold and then it disappear. I know it takes time to recover from something that tough but she’s doing well. She’s one of those “Touchy Feely folks!!
I told her walking into the grocery store, “You use to always hold my hand.” As kids get older, they stop holding their parents hand. Later on, the game changes yet again and the daughter who has no desire to hold Daddy’s hand will once again reach for it. The reach will not be for fear or protection this time but for the sake of “Love Unconditional!!”
Yes you’re right!! We are those “touchy feely” kind of folks!!
I love you