A Helluva Drug

I’m having withdrawals and I’m going in and out. I’m still trying to figure out how it all started. It’s all just a blur and Im not really sure how i got here. I walk into the bathroom, lean into the mirror with a hot towel over my face. I take a deep breath and inhale the steam vapor from the towel as I slowly slide the towel down my face. My face feels long as a bring the towel just below my eyes and look deep into the mirrored mess. I slowly exhale into the towel as I wipe down my face and moan. The word are not intelligible even to me. My thoughts and emotions are moaning from the inside quicker than my mouth can shape the sounds into words. Now I’m looking into the mirror at someone who likes me but I’m not quite sure how we got here.

I’m zooted or at least it feels like it. How? Was it hidden within a glass of wine, a neatly laid line, or tightly rolled in some cigarette paper? Could it have been a pill secretly slipped into my drink or some liquid my skin unknowingly absorbed. Was it a wall of smoke that bellowed from a pipe, a Cheek and Chong bong? In not really sure. I don’t remember any of this. Whatever it is, it has interrupted the chemical make up of my body and has caused an imbalance that is foreign to all of me. It has thrown my natural and normal function way off.

Something is going on. I look into the mirror and now the room is steamed up enough for me to see a faint message smeared on the glass. Wait, I’m trying to read it. I can’t make out the words. DrugHelluvaLove. It’s a bunch of words mixed up like a Soul train scramble board. Who would take their finger and smear words on my mirror and leave the premises knowing that I would find this message. It says, “HelluvaDrugLove.” I get startled because I don’t like surprises. I called for Siri!!! Hey Siri!!! what does “helluva mean? To my surprise and possibly yours, it’s spelled out correctly. Rick James said, “Cocaine is a helluva drug!!”

Now here I sit with the shakes. I do a quick self diagnosis. I’m having withdrawals. Of course, I ask my girl!! Hey Siri, define withdrawals!! She hits me back with, “Withdrawals are a group of symptoms that occur as a result of an abrupt discontinuation of a certain drug.” I said, “Whoop, there it is!!” Dang, I’m having love withdrawals!! You flooded my entire system, my blood system, my cardiovascular system and my mental make up. You saturated my soul with your love and then just like that, you discontinued that consistent supply of a mind blowing goodness and I am totally discombobulated. Uh Siri? She said, “Confused or thrown off kilter.” I’m not really sure what my kilter is but I’m convinced it’s no longer in working order.

Love withdrawals? Drugs I understand but Love? I say it to myself as if I don’t live with me. Love is a Helluva Drug Bro. You got symptoms? I started reciting symptoms and it sounded more like an episode of Emergency when the paramedics are preparing to transport a patient. “Rampart, we have a black male approximately fifty four years of age, glassy eyes, smile on his face, he’s having sporadic outburst of amazing flashbacks, his arms keep reaching for someone. He’s having hallucinations and conversations with someone in a romantic way but no one is here. Rampart, squaks back over the rover, “It’s just “Love withdrawals!!” What do we need to administer to stabilize the patient? Well, It might wear off at some point or at least to the point that the patient can function. I’ve seen scenarios where once they are gone, they are gone forever. Just make them comfortable!!!

You ever had Love Withdrawals? Ay, Love is Helluva Drug!! One hit and you are gone forever. You’ll give anything for it and to have it. No withdrawals? Well maybe you ain’t had it right. I guess it’s only fair to warn you. You think Cocaine is a Helluva drug? At least, there is rehab for Coke. There is no Rehab for Love!! Let’s just say it together slow, “Love is A Helluva Drug!!”

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