In My Feelings

I know it ain’t regular or acceptable in some circles but to hell with it. It’s my feelings and to deny that I have them would make me less than human. Hell, animals have feelings. They experience hurt, loss and sadness as well. I’m not sure who made it unacceptable for people to have feelings. So, you can have them but don’t express them? If you have them then at least don’t BE IN THEM?

I bet if you trace the history back to the originator of the “No feeling here movement,” I bet you will push back the door of some mad, bitter, broken, unloved and unappreciated person who was used mistreated and unloved. They probably live in the back room of some dark, dank, dilapidated half way house for retired evil a##holes.

Why did I go in like that? I have no clue. This is gonna be good.

I’m in my feelings and it scary enough to expose yourself to people nowadays, let alone express your innermost feelings into the ear of someone with the power to annihilate you. Please remember, you’ve not gained power, I’ve relinquished power. It’s the responsibility you will have to keep and cherish as sacred. I recognize I am possibly Sampson laying my head and heart into Delilah’s lap and hoping that I fall asleep and wake up the next morning with my strength in tact. I am clearly revealing the secret of my strength into the hands of the woman that I love. I don’t believe you to be Delilah at all. I believe you to be who you say you are. If not, the insurance papers are in the top drawer of the nights stand.

Truth is, you can kill me but you can’t stop me from loving you. Within the very last breath that I take, I will exhale my truth, “I love you baby!!” My lips will cease moving at the end of the word, You. They will stay stuck there until eternity. Just know that when I cross over to the other side, my vehicle is exchanged and I’m back talking, I’ll be over there waiting for you and telling everybody about how much I love you.

I’m in my feelings and I’m like Tina Marie, “I’m out here on a limb.” How in the hell did I get out here? What was wrong with “like” on the ground instead of “love” out on a limb? There is a real issue of altitude!! You a thrill seeker of sorts Sir? I know it’s sacrifice and love is every bit of that. Out on a limb can be defined as someone who does something they strongly believe in, even though it is risky, extreme, and is likely to fail or be criticized by other people. I’m not in it to fail and we can weather what people have to say!! To be named with you in the same sentence is an honor for me anyway. You hear about him and her? I like that fact that they TECHNICALLY MUST acknowledge us TOGETHER before they try to pry us apart!!! I like it!!

Out on a limb? How come the visual of that looks so bad but the feeling of being in love with you feels so good? It’s trusting that the tree limb will sustain me while you possess the power to shake it or chainsaw it down at will. Timber? Why did lumberjacks even shout Timber? Well, Golfers yell, “Fore!!” Construction workers shout, “Fire in the hole,” before igniting dynamite. It’s the shortest possible statement used to alert bystanders quickly of an ensuing and present danger.

I’m yelling “Timber!!” Why? Because My “Love Saw” is going to break you down inch by inch until you fall into my arms!!! Come on home to Poppa!! Good luck!! You have taken on and accepted a major obligation but I believe that you can handle it.

Either way, it’s not my responsibility to keep you from breaking my heart, it’s mine to LOVE the hell out of you for eternity. That I can do. You know why? Because loving you is easy!!

I feel like I’ve been on a missing persons’ manhunt. I’ve searched for you for years and nothing has turned up until now. I’ve found you and I have to call into the authorities (GOD) and report my findings. My damage report is as follows: I found her with her heart in tact. She was conscious with no signs of abuse or bitterness. No post traumatic stress and no signs of being shell shocked. No remnants of scar tissue from past relationships and no fight tendencies. I did have to do mouth to mouth to get her back breathing but she liked that part anyway. She is easy and loving, hopeful and sweet, soft spoken and supportive, open for my love and optimistic. When I found her, her vitals were all good and she was in her right mind, plus she is fine as hell.

I won’t be bringing her in for further investigation and examination, I’m taking this one home with me forever. No need for a follow up visit, whatever flaws she has, I’m fine with. I’ll take her and the sign in the window that says, “AS IS with no warranty!!”

Whatever comes up after I take this one off the lot is mine to live with and I love it. She ain’t no brand new car nor am I a First Time Buyer. I swear I love the model, the color, the year and the body style. Good God, the Body style!! The radio don’t get too loud and the air works!! Don’t worry, I can vacuum the few crumbs of the past out the trunk. No problem!!! This model cleans up well, purrs like a kitten, takes turns well, and knows how to shift into the fifth gear when we take the hill!!! She’s a sixty eight BMW. (Black Motivated Woman) I like what I like. No need to test drive this ride, I was sold on the window shopping. She ain’t got the new stuff and it’s cool. She still has cassette tape and Cd capabilities but she can bluetooth what ever the hell she wants from me. Her windows are “Eclectic,” not Electric and she’s got power steering in her hips. Her headlights catch me like a “staring deer.” I can’t look away. Please run over me!!!

Omg, I write like I’m whipped. I heard an old man say, “Ain’t nothing wrong with being hen pecked, as long as you pecked by the right hen. Baby you are the right hen!! I ain’t hen pecked but you’ve been chicken hawked like a mug. As the victim exposes their neck to the vampire, “Have at it Baby Bubba!!” Just know that as you sink your fangs into me, I am permeating deep into your bloodstream. You swallow and now I’m so into you that you cannot distinguish the difference between my thoughts and yours. Like Mike said, “You’ve been hit by a smooth not criminal but Sentinel!!” I’m standing guard over your heart.

I love you


One Comment

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  1. Yes, a lot of things are not acceptable in our society as well. Sometimes they won’t let us breath and live, and that’s why I hate the control that people exercise over feelings and emotions. When you are sad, you should cry and feel better..

    Liked by 1 person

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