You know what this is. It’s the 2021 version of the Fountain of Youth. Legend has it that anyone who drinks or bathes in it can reverse the aging process. I’ve got both questions and observations, but I don’t want to be a killjoy and squash it up front. Let’s take a walk shall we?
Can you imagine a stream, a pond, a lake, or an ocean whereby a sip of it or a dip in it could possibly make you young again? No more crow’s feet, muffin top, or saggy fun bags? I didn’t know what else to call them. You interested? Are you really going to make me take this tour? Let’s see, I’ve got an aging back, I’m loosing teeth, my hair line is receding, my skin is wrinkling, my mojo is on slow mo, my eyesight is getting worse, which means my glasses are getting thicker and contain more medicine and of course, the six pack has morphed into what looks like a Capri Sun. What else? My mind ain’t what it use to be. My memory leaves me and I can’t remember names right after I hear them. I would say I am a candidate for the Fountain of Youth.
I got questions. Can I take a towel and blot it on certain parts of me instead of the baptism thingy? If I drink it, will it renew my insides or will this only affect my exterior? Will my years of wisdom gained from a hard knock life dissipate? Will my mind transform back to ignorance, carelessness and stupidity? That may be too costly of a skinny dip. Wait, I assume that if we’re washing the old away, we’re getting in butt naked right? I can’t imagine allowing Levi’s and some sweat socks to impede that process at all. I’m not even stepping in, I’m diving in.
I am concerned about this drinking and bathing in the same pool. Has the Health Department signed off on this? Is there a occupancy maximum limit? They have one at Bed, Bath and Beyond so I assume they have to have one at the Senior/youth pool. Is it Covid proof? How long before we see any signs of improvement? Is it the older you are the longer you have to stay in it? Do we pre-order our tickets? Is this like baking bread?Does someone have to watch me with a timer so I don’t burn? Are there life guards on duty? We still doing six feet?
I did see something similar in an old movie called, “Cocoon.” In this one, the old folks stayed old externally but they were youthful on the inside. They stopped acting their age or so said one of them in the group. Well what about the movie, “The Klumps?” Sherman’s Daddy has a swig or two of the serum and morphed into his old self. As I recall, Momma didn’t care for it as much.
Are you saying, there are others to be considered before going au natural and splashing in the spring of adolescence?
Well I have some good news and some bad news. Which one do you want first? The good news is, the Fountain of Youth is still a myth to date. Many have written about it but none have actually found it. If so, they’re not giving up the address. They know we will quickly input that baby in our GPS and be on our way. We might Uber to the spot.
The bad news is, you are going to have to keep the same body you’ve been driving around in. You only get one and looking back at it, we should have taken better care of it than we have. Of course, a few folks pay good money to have parts replaced and remodeled but they never works like the original. The rest of us continue to join the ranks of the saggers and draggers. Sorry if it seems a bit depressing. It’s not my intent.
The good part is, you know these parts. You know that it takes a good warm up to get the best out of your engine. You can’t take those curves the way you use to. You’ve learned to pace yourself now. You don’t make quick turns and abrupt stops anymore. You’ve learned to send request out to the different parts of your body to gain approval and to keep everybody in the loop. No need in making moves down a flight of stairs without consent and support from the feet and knee department. If the back is on strike, Headquarters need to know about this long before any plans are made and well in advance I might add.
Broken up and at the bottom of the stairs is just not a good time for the hip to declare they didn’t get the fax on the move. You get to keep the same parts. You are familiar with and are well acquainted with them. At this point in the game, you should at least be familiar with your own limitations and capabilities.
I guess the closest thing to a Fountain of Youth that I will ever get to is possibly soaking in a tub filled with hot water and bubble bath. Now that’s a Fountain of Youth worth enjoying. The good part about it is, I don’t have to take off on some excursions in some unknown part of the world. I don’t have to trek through some over vegetated jungle and it’s creatures. I can walk within the confines of my own bathroom and do a bit of soaking. I can sit in my backyard. I can relax on the couch uninterrupted with a good book.
How about a good meal, a great conversation, soft music, a glass of wine, a good hot steamy bubble bath, and a good night’s sleep? That’s a Fountain of Youth. Why would I accept a cold meal, an argument, a lukewarm shower, and a sporadic sleep pattern?
I bet you have ideas that would replace our desire and search for the Fountain of Youth. Please share.
I love you
Photo credit: http://www.Jax.org